The referral of Owen

Here is an old post from our previous blog. This tells the story of the day we received our referral for Owen. It's hard to beleive this was 15 months ago.

On Wednesday night February 15, 2006, Megan and I were watching the Olympics, specifically freestyle moguls.

The day before we had received word from our agency assisting with the Ethiopian portion of the adoption that our dossier looked great and that we have been officially added to the wait list and a huge weight was lifted with the relief that the major paperwork was done. When we started the process many months earlier the wait time for a referral was listed at 0-2 months. A few days earlier we had received the February newsletter that listed the referral time at 0-4 months. Many people waiting for referrals had requested girls or siblings and some had already been waiting two months for their referral. While we knew the referral of a boy would be quicker we wanted to set a realistic time frame so we wouldn’t start getting to anxious. One month seemed reasonable.

On the morning of the 15th somebody on the message board of the agency’s website had listed out those people she knew to be waiting and asked if she had missed anybody that they to added their names. After seeing a list of about 15-18 people I noticed that none of them were currently waiting for the referral of a boy. Now trying to keep with the previously decided upon month, I tried not to think much of this. That lasted about two minutes before I decided I needed to call Megan and share with her the news. About this time I started to think, maybe any night now Peggy will call with the referral. Peggy was our social worker that conducted the three home studies and she would be the one to deliver the good news when the time came. I needed to settle down I was setting myself up for a completely unnecessary disappointment every night.

When I got home from work that day, the adoption is all Megan and I could talk about, that in and of its self is not that unusual, but we just kept talking about how there might not really be any people waiting before us in line to receive a referral. I didn’t really let Megan know that I was starting to think maybe it could even happen tonight or tomorrow. I called my sister to wish her happy birthday and we talked about her pregnancy, she is due on March 20th and the adoption process some, with me giving her the same month or so until a referral story. While I was on the phone the door bell rang and the first thing I thought was, “is it Peggy with the referral.” Okay, so I wasn’t doing very well with the whole lets try not to obsess over the referral thing. Well if you are thinking the doorbell is what I have been leading up to you would be wrong. It was just the delivery of a book I had ordered from Amazon.

After dinner we settled down into the family room and Megan started grading papers while I sat back and watched the Olympics. This was the perfect distraction, Megan could spend her time trying to decipher 7th grade handwriting while I sat and listened to the placid sounds of Bob Costas. At about 7:45 the phone wrung, Megan looked over and saw that the caller ID showed Peggy’s name. We both just looked at each other for a second, before I picked up the phone.
“Hi Dave, its Peggy, how are you?”
“I’m doing well, how are you?”
“Good, do you have a moment?”
“Yes”
“Is Megan around?”
At this time I started to shake (even more then usual). I had a pretty good idea what this was about.
“Yes she’s here”
“Can she pick up another phone?
Now this is a reasonable question to ask of just about anybody who owns his or her own home in 21st century America. But keep in mind we do have a dog that is just under two. Bailey several months earlier, apparently over the frustration of not having the opposable thumbs necessary to dial a phone decided to eat the phone. So we only have the one phone.
“Um, I can’t believe this but we don’t have another phone. Maybe we can put you on speakerphone. Wait, no the phone that had that option is the one that broke.”
“Just have her tell you.” Megan says
“Megan said its okay to just tell me.”
“Okay, well we have a referral for the two of you. It’s a baby boy born on January 12.”
Both Megan and I have a smile ear to ear as I look over to confirm with Megan the news. Megan then hands me paper to start writing down what she is telling me.
“His name is Joseph.”
I believe the call went on for another minute or two with both Megan and I relatively speechless. We set up a time on Saturday for us to meet and get all of Joseph’s information and the one picture they had.

After I hung up both Megan and I just looked at each other and started mumbling something along the lines of it’s happened, this is it, and we have a son. Both of us looked down at the paper on the coffee table that just said Jan. 12, Joseph and Boy. With that paper, a few tears in our eyes we hugged and we had become parents.
Editor's Note - Later Megan and Dave saw that the babies name was Yoseph not Joseph, although the social worker was saying Joseph.